Please
by Sqydd
Summary: The Shinsengumi had to move before Planet Beam did and Earth was destroyed. So what exactly was Gintoki bothering them with now? (Takes place during episode 263.)


"Alright, men!" Hijikata folded his hands behind his back and raised his head, facing the ranks of the Shinsengumi. "We're going to comb this city and leave no stone unturned! We'll find this beam cannon and destroy it before the night is over! If we don't, you don't have to worry about Planet Beam being your death—just worry about your final wishes before seppuku."

"Yes, sir!" they chorused, although some now seemed a bit pale in the moonlight. Sogo maintained an impassive look at the rallying, but Hijikata noticed he was white-knuckling his sword a bit.

"Kondo-san said our target's name is Obi-one Hajime. A male with a blond ponytail and glowing red eyes, also with the ability to shoot and wield beams as weapons. He's extremely dangerous if taken lightly, so remember your training and keep your guards up at all times."

"Except now, amiright?"

Every pair of eyes save for Hijikata's, seeing as they were squeezed shut in blatant frustration, turned to the source of the unholy noise: Odd Jobs himself lounging in the entranceway. Hijikata had to count to ten and back before he was any semblance of calm. "What are you doing here?" he asked, hoping Gintoki would deflect the question as he was so good at doing. It would give him a reason to warm up before the real fight.

"Just watching for now." He pushed off from the wood and sauntered over, one hand set in the folds of his kimono. As he came closer, Hijikata noticed two handles sticking out of his obi: one being his usual Lake Toya wooden sword, the other wrapped with clothes and appearing very unfamiliar. The vice-chief smirked maliciously and lowered himself into more of a battle-ready stance.

"I don't need to repeat the sword-carrying laws to you." Gintoki's eyes went to his new sword for a moment as if he was surprised at the fact.

"This? This is a loaner. Pretty crappy blacksmithing work too—it's nothing I'd personally own," he said absently, picking his nose at the same time.

"Doesn't change the fact you're carrying it." Hijikata now had his hand on his own sword and was fully prepared to draw it in threat of arrest before Kondo stepped forward, catching his attention.

"Toshi, we have more important things to focus on right now, huh? You can arrest Odd Jobs after Planet Beam's neutralized." Gintoki, who'd gotten somewhat of a shit-eating grin earlier, returned to his usual dead-eyed unreadable expression. Why was he there anyway? He was lazy on the best of days, insufferable on the worst, but when the Kabuki district or all of Edo was in danger, he and his brood usually beat the Shinsengumi to the punch. Though he seriously didn't deserve it, Hijikata decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe Gintoki was there on honest business.

"Men, move out!" he said to the assembled squads. "Find Obi-one!"

"Wait." Gintoki's voice wasn't any louder, but something about his tone stopped everyone in their tracks. He gripped the handle of his katana as he stepped closer, close enough he was within blade's reach of Hijikata, Kondo, and Sogo. "It won't do if the side characters beat the main character to the punch. You know, the big bad of the arc has to be taken down by me else our ratings will drop? Then Gorilla-san—no, not you Kondo, the author—will be forced to add in cute but pointless characters to fish fresh interest and the whole thing will go down the toilet faster than that Jump ninja with his hemorrhoids flaring up."

"Boss, it's a serious arc, you can't go breaking the fourth wall like that," Sogo said.

"I just had to make my point. In fact, the kids and Otae might get some bright ideas too—d'ya mind keepin' an eye on them? It's bad enough if side characters beat the villain, but secondary protagonists—"

"What do you think we are, babysitters?" Hijikata interrupted, bringing Gintoki's eyes back to him. "It's bad enough you're telling us to sit this out. Even seppuku isn't enough for this. We're the Shinsengumi and it's our _job_ to beat the shit out of any threats to Edo's safety. You and your main character bullshit aren't worth our name."

"He's their big brother," Gintoki said when Hijikata expected another stupid response. Sogo stiffened slightly at that, probably getting flashes of his sister. Hijikata's stance relaxed from his surprise. He untangled both his wooden sword and the katana from his obi as he spoke. "Shinpachi and Otae's, I mean. So I can't let them kill him, no way in hell. And if any of you do it, they'll hate you for it, and you're about as far removed from this situation as they come. Not Tsukuyo, Sacchan, Kyuubei, or Zura either—they're all good people. Me? I'm used to being a villain." He crouched down and set his weapons on the grass next to him. "My motivation is shit and I know it. Can't say much about saving the world from these masked copyright infringements, but if I can protect these few people in the Kabuki district…" He chuckled a little as he rested on folded knees.

"Boss…" Sogo's voice was low and there was an odd note of concern in there. Kondo couldn't form words past the little shocked noises he kept making. Hijikata, meanwhile, had stopped computing entirely, cigarette falling from his lip to the ground. The man was never so blunt, usually speaking in a very roundabout way to disguise his true feelings and intent, whether from pride or fear or whatever the case may be. This time, however, he told them in no uncertain terms: Obi-one is the Shimura's brother, so they harbor feelings for him. Therefore, Gintoki won't let them be the cause of his death, nor will the Shinsengumi or the rest of their friends. He would be the one to take the burden.

He processed all of that in time to see his naturally-permed silver head fold to the ground.

The headquarters fell silent. Such was a novel sight, a samurai such as him prostrating, and nobody dared breathe too loud at the sight of it. Gintoki's voice was like a beam in itself, slicing through the tension: "I'll find a way to bring Obi-one back alive, so, _please,_ stay put until then. Watch over my friends until I come back."

The silence was broken by a camera's shutters. Hijikata looked over to see Sogo holding his cellphone. "Don't worry, Boss," he said, pocketing the device. "This photo won't circulate outside of the Shinsengumi network." Hijikata, without taking his eyes from Gintoki, raised his hand and calmly brained Sogo.

"Get up, you idiot. Your laziness will infect the ground." Hijikata kicked Gintoki's shoulder, making it look a lot rougher than it actually was, and Gintoki raised himself to his knees again. Nothing was different about his expression, but his eyes were a bit more open; Hijikata didn't stare too hard at the emotion in those red depths. "Like hell we'll take orders from you. But," he added, crushing the fallen cigarette underfoot and lighting a new one. He took a long drag and said, "Since you mentioned Obi-one being the Shimura's brother, it wouldn't hurt to do an extensive search at their dojo, see if we can get some info on his location there."

_We'll give you the time you need. _Gintoki wasn't the only one who could do loaded dialogue, and his eyes widened slightly as he read between the lines. Maybe he didn't expect Hijikata to agree so readily, even though they'd been through more than enough together for common sense to have sunk through his sugar-addled brain. Then again, Gintoki could be denser than Kondo at times.

"Alright, Shinsengumi! Next stop: the Shimura dojo!" Kondo called. The troops bellowed an agreement before marching past Gintoki and through the entryway. Sogo lingered a moment, giving Gintoki a determined nod before following, leaving the samurai and the vice chief. Gintoki lowered his head to collect his belongings; a broken word that might have been "thank you" fell from his lips.

"Hurry up, before he gets too far." Hijikata gave Gintoki one last look before following the troops. He learned something knew about that guy today, that he would cast himself aside in every conceivable way to protect those close to him. Not for the first time, he wondered what happened to Gintoki in the past to have driven him to this point now.

No use wondering about it now, anyway. He would make Odd Jobs all the time he needed.


End file.
